ROMANTIC GIFTS FOR VALENTINES DAY!

Not sure what to get that special someone for Valentines Day? We all want to sweep our sweethearts off their feet, claws, adhesive membranes, or what-have-you. Here are some time-tested ideas that have always worked for me:

1). Planets: They may not be that original, but planets make nice gifts, especially when they’re balmy and blue. (Helpful hint: Keep your ships on stand-by in case of hostile fire).

2). Holy Relics: Enshrine your beloved’s toe clippings and declare them holy. Confer sainthood on your love and establish a new religion. Your valentine will be impressed, and it will give them something to do.

3). Here Come the Clones: Is your darling tired of running a planet or playing Pope? Then clone yourself.  Just make your doubles a little less clever than you.

4). And finally, the Ultimate Valentine’s Day Gift:  Has your sweetie forgotten how much you’ve won for them (planets), done for them (conferred sainthood), or spent with them (the tango-dancing clones)? Send them to seventh heaven. Nothing says "I love you" like a one-way trip to paradise.
Hope this helps! Happy Valentines Day, everyone!